Do you know what looks ridiculous? This kind of hair.
There was a lot of time spent on this so take a good look. It’s like a model airplane – everything has its place. He’s crafted it into a feathered opus. Do you notice how it’s divided up into sectors? Each hair has its specific direction that its been trained to point.
I think Pete Wentz’s hobby is his hair.
When did this hair start? I remember when suddenly a lot of rock stars all had the same haircut and I remember thinking something like – what the fuck? How come none of these guys’ moms caught that? When I was in grade school, if I tried to leave the house with my hair all messy like that, my mom would spit on her hand and plaster it back down. But that’s because my mom didn’t want me to get beat up by everyone who saw me and my stupid hair. In this case, his hair is hanging into his face so now he has a stupid face[1].
I think I noticed it on Ryan Adams first. He started out all country-licious and cool but then, right around his second album and BAM! I see him in some magazine with emo hair. At first I thought that maybe he was just trying out one of those water conserving shower heads. I thought to myself – good for him. It’s good to see country-licious rock stars care about water.
Later, I learned that it was the first sign of an epidemic. An epidemic that may have been started a long time ago by another person with stupid hair.
[1] I think I just said that Pete Wentz has a stupid face.
